CHUMP THINKS HE'S 18, NOT 20

Chump and Ingrid on a meat-hook somewhere in the Arlberg

W E D N E S D A Y,  2 9  M A R C H

Dutronc came down jolly late to breakfast - I was about to give up. He had his anorak on: honestly, it's red and fab. He turned round once and gave me a promising look.

Long queue at Schledelkopf. We waited 20 minutes. It was snowing. The ski down wasn't very good because you couldn't see where you were going. Then we went up the Kriegerhorn, it was so freezing I had to put my arms in front of my face, there was practically a blizzard. Mummy’s so mad, she didn't even put her hood up! Back for lunch, then the sun came out. We went up the Kriegerhorn again, I wasn't cold this time, and had a wonderful ski down in perfect snow, almost too much of it. I whizzed down the Standard Run, taking the bumps as they came, singing 'Groovy Kind of Love' all the way. It was so hilarious - there was a madman charging down on a toboggan and dodging all the skiers as he went.

At seven I went up to change. Put my hair in bunches and wore my orange dress; if it was shorter I wouldn't have to pull it up with a belt. We went into the sitting room and sat at the end. I read more Catherine the Great. Suddenly Chump said, "look who's come in". There, at the other end, in a dark corner with his parents, was Dutronc. He had a Libella and a cheesecake and was wearing the most fantastic pair of corduroy trousers. 

At dinner, as always, he had his back to us. We had scrambled eggs (too salty), steak (delicious), and a whacking ice-cream with fruit and everything. Chumpy criticised Mummy's hair, again. Ernst the head waiter is very keen on Chump. He said she's going to be very pretty in five years' time and will have “plenty to choose from” - but she’ll be difficult! Chump doesn't like Dutronc but thinks his corduroy trousers are fantastic. She now says he's 18, not 20.